you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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