Your dad touched me again.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
