You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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