So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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