I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize