guys are only as good as the porn they watch
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
