I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
