I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
