my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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