That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
