just tell him i said nine months
thus making me awesome and them whores
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i now understand why vodka
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
