if you like me you must not know who I am
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
