Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
