It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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