Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
