She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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