More tranny stories later!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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