when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize