Are we in a gay sports bar?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I cut my penus on the lid.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
