Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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