I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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