My liver just broke up with me...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
