Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
