After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
