sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
