yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
