i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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