just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize