He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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