operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
A bitchslap is in order.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
