Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
