shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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