I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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