Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
