I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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