I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize