I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
