I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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