Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
