she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
