does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
