im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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