I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize