Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize