Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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