Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
