i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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