you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
