He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
