It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Randomize
