Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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