I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
