Whod you bang
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize