I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
