it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
