I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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