No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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