i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
