i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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