I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I touched a dick in church today
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
