By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
